Final Monologue for performance

In my group we have all decided that will create and perform a

monologue each, based on our own issues we have in life, using a Stanislavski approach character wise, as we want to use real life situations as inspiration for our monologues, in order to create moving and empathetic monologues, we want the audience to be able to relate to our monologues, as our piece on the whole can be quite hard to grasp and will inspire many different interpretations from the audience, but we want our monologues to be very clear, as our piece is quite abstract, we want the monologues to add some realism to our piece.
The monologue I have written is all about situations I have been in or am In currently, and are mainly based around change and loss. It is not a negative monologue as I have included some happy memories and situations I have been in this year, but I am mainly focusing on change of circumstances and loss. My monologue is not characterised or copied from anything else, it is simply just how I envision the performance and what I feel suits the piece and it has aspects of the truth and real emotions and feelings. It has taken me a long time to write this monologue as I want to express raw emotions but without the monologue becoming too lengthy or generic. 


THE GAME OF LIFE: SOPHIA MONOLOGUE (1:14:35) approx 1min 15 secs
I am not a weak person, but believe me when I tell you I have been in situations that have made me feel like I have no strength whatsoever. Things have happened to me this year that have changed me forever, I will never return to the person I was before. Did I do this to myself? Do I deserve this pain? Some times I feel like running away, escaping, breaking free. But then I know you cannot run from your problems, as they will always follow you, no matter where you go. I am in love, but it's cruel, it's a love that lingers over me like a dark shadow, I do not want to be in love, it consumes me and reminds me of painful memories. I am stuck within a viscous cycle, where is everybody? Where am I? Life is a game, every move you make and wrong turn you take, changes everything. Life to me is not about winning, it is about living. Tell me, am I living?